I try to keep my monsters locked in the closet and out of trouble but every now and then one or more of them manage to sneak out.
Some nights listening to them gnaw at the door I just give up and open the door to let them all come out to play. The next day they always seem a little more appeased as I tuck them one by one back into the closet where they spend the next week or two sleeping off their drunken debauchery.
Tonight I can hear the old green eyed beast trying to fight its way out from the back of the closet.
I had heard him rumbling unhappily a couple days ago but I kind of figured he would settle down a little if I just left him alone. Nope. He has just spent his time stewing over things and growing more and more annoyed with his lot in life. Now he wants out.
The door shakes as he pushes against it testing its security. He growls low in his throat and I know that it is only a matter of time before he figures a way out.
I am thinking that maybe I should just give up, open the door, and
get it over with. But that isn’t an option that I want to have happen. The monsters can get into so much trouble when they are out and I really don’t want to allow them to escape if I don’t have to.
Of course the old green eyed monster has to be one of the worst ones too. He never travels alone. He always brings his gang of imps out with him and the pack of them wreak havoc in my world till I somehow manage to knock their leader back into a submissive state again.
It can be horribly embarrassing not to mention dangerous. He’s cost me the loss of a couple relationships and at one point almost cost me my job. That beast is bad news.
He screeches behind the door begging to be let out as I try harder to ignore his insistent pleas. He is nothing but pure trouble.
The telephone rings and I get up to answer it. It is Andrew on the line and his timing couldn’t be worse. The monster is banging its battle thirsty body against the closet door and I am torn as to what I should do.
Should I let the beast out so it will maybe not break the door down and bring out with it the remainder of the horde from the closet, or should I hang up on Andrew, and give myself time to reinforce the door.
The wooden door creaks under the stress, groans loudly, then cracks and falls. The monsters are free.
Time seems to stand still in moments like this. You know that time is passing but it is difficult to measure the length of it. I hear the hissing and screaming, see talons flashing, and hear teeth gnashing.
It seems to last forever but for all that I know it may only last but just a few minutes.
Then it is over. There is silence in the room and silence on the line. I whisper “hello” but there is no reply.
I glare angrily at the green eyed beast and he looks sheepishly back at me. Then he turns around and quietly slinks back into the closet. His partners in crime silently follow.
I know that it is too late to change what has happened today so for now things will have to stay as they are. I go to the fridge, take out a beer, then sit back down at the table to mull things over. I have made up my mind that tomorrow is the day that I go downtown to buy a deadbolt. I’ve put it off for far too long and enough is enough. There comes a time when you have to accept the fact that your monsters have gotten too big to control. It is time to lock them up or let them go.
Irresistible Urges By Lorelei Cohen
You sleep so quiet So peaceful so sweet I have no idea why I have this crazy desire To sniff your feet.
I'm not weird not mentally ill, not abnormal in any other way except this irresistible urge To harass you while you sleep.
I would like to put my finger in your ear or tickle your toes paint a big black mustache under your nose.
I'ld love to braid your chest hair Paint a face on your bum Shave your underarms wake you up and make love.
I want to lie a feather under your nose to make you sneeze dust you with baby powder until you wheeze.
It isn't my fault I've tried I can't stop You just look so sweet and peaceful when you sleep.
I want to bathe you in wet kisses tickle the ends of your toes Paint your fingernails Put a ring through your nose.
It's something I just can't control You drive me insane Softly snoring while I lay here awake.
These uncontrollable feelings To shake you awake Just to tell you I love you in every imaginable way.